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Limbo




I'm writing today from the comfort of my couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, with the fireplace flickering in the background. I can hear the rain hit the window behind me and smell the distinct scent of rain, as I have the window cracked for my own sensory pleasure.


I've been absent online for the most part, deleted Facebook from my phone, and have limited my social media viewing and interaction on the other platforms. I haven't put out a new episode yet, but have every intention of doing so. It seems every time I venture back out into the world of social media, something happens and I have to retreat for the wellbeing of my mind. I was so excited to get that episode out and had big plans of my come back year, but that's not what's happening. As our country devolves into a complete and utter shit show, my personal life is doing the same. I finally get my head above water and it feels like there's always the next big wave that crashes into me and forces me down under the depths to struggle some more.


Mental health has always been a subject that I've been transparent about and today, writing this, is no different. I had a medication change that, in the long run is better for me, but the change caused a depressive episode that was one of the rougher ones I've gone through. It took most of my energy daily, just to exist. So, if you've been wondering where the hell the next podcast episode is at, that's what's going on.


So I'm in limbo yet again. I hate this space, the non action of it all is frustrating. I'm not moving forward and until I get my feet under myself more securely, I'll be suspended in this state of nothingness.


This limbo has me wondering if I should let it all go; the website, the courses, the podcast, and social media in general. Would I be better off logging off indefinitely? Probably not, due to my only connections with people tend to be with friends online. So I need to find some sort of balance that appeases my need to be informed of country and world events but still be able to keep my head in the present time. It's hard not to look ahead into the dismal future humanity has in store if things don't start going a different way.


I'm trying to keep parts of my witchcraft practice going so that I have something to cling to, to find some sort of joy and routine in. I have found lately that the simple act of lighting some incense while I sip my morning coffee feels particularly good. I light the incense and try to think of one thing I'm grateful for. Just one. Some days that's the fact that I have coffee. I still try and check in with my Spirit Team, although I don't feel nearly as connected as I used to. It's a bit bittersweet to know that before 2020, I was so very connected to them and lived a very intentional life. It seems that all the things that transpired that year set the course for a lot of things just falling out of my life and no matter how much I intend on getting those things back, it just doesn't happen. The process of deciding which things needed to go and which should I try and rekindle has been nothing short of complete confusion and filled with self-doubt.


Will the podcast continue? I hope so. I probably jumped the gun and shouldn't have released that episode, but I did and here we are. I'm uninspired and searching for that thing that sparks some creativity so that I can create again. So please be patient, I truly am trying. In the meantime, here is a podcast my friend Kalem Turner was on and it would bring me joy if you gave it a listen to.



Thank you to everyone who has reached out, I truly appreciate you so much! There's been some very timely messages that I really needed to see in that moment, so thank you so much!


Much love,

DaNae

aka Witchy Woman




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