Cherry Pits & House Seams

I'm properly elevated and have the house to myself. I guess not completely because I do have a shitload of furbabies up in here so there's that. Cherries are my second favorite fruit. Watermelon is at the top of my fruit hierarchy. There's a good thing spell check exists because I fucked up the spelling of hierarchy but it's all good because it's automatically fixed. That is simultaneously a sweet ass hack and the downfall of proper written expression.


I was scrolling Tiktok the other day and I saw a video where a lady was a book editor and she threw shade at those of us that put two spaces at the end of sentences. Um, Miss Editor Lady, that's what us old farts were taught and how the hell would we know NOT to do it anymore? It's not like we get a newsletter from our high school English teacher to let us know the happenings of the Grammar Law. Also, who decides that stuff? Is there a Council On Grammar & Prose? I would totally be down to get a newsletter from the Council On Grammar & Prose. I'd be the coolest cat in town, knowing all the new essay form changes and comma usage laws.


I'm looking at the walls in my house and the places where all the walls and the ceiling meets are like seams in clothing. That is all.


Why do we take pictures of our babies buck ass naked? Why?! There's a super cute picture of my daughter that was taken when she was just a few months old. She's on her tummy next to a metal tub like she's taken a bath and has a rubber ducky. Anyways, why do we as parents have the urge to memorialize our babies' asses? My dog just audibly farted and then sniffed his ass. Probably to make sure it was just a fart and his colon didn't just fall right the fuck out his ass. Holy crap it's nasty.


I wonder if dogs look at us in disgust when we pee and poo inside like the cats do.


So this is going to sound super weird, but I swear wasps are cool with me. Last summer they built a giant nest in our shed and I told them that I wouldn't hurt them and just would need in the shed sometimes. They never stung me. My husband got stung a bunch. So I told him to knock first before he opened the door and he hasn't been stung since.


Does anyone else accidently astral project when they are elevated? Most of the time I catch it as it's happening and pull back down but sometimes I don't and woooo weeee, it gets weird.


I just responded to someone's FB message and as I looked back here at this screen I lost all memory of what the hell I just read or responded. That's wild! I find that my short term memory is wonky when elevated. I'm definitely in the moment!


I was just going to write about how lawns are a middle finger to nature and I almost started crying. I dunno what planet is doing THAT but it can fuck right off with that emotional weepy stuff. Anyway, yes lawns are stupid. Why weren't we planting gardens and flower gardens instead from the get-go? I'm slowly converting mine. My neighbors probably don't even care at this point. I have 20 chickens, 3 dogs, and I'm just generally a loud person. Brad mentions that sometimes. I project damn it. I speak from the bottom of my stomach and not my damn nose, so I can be heard. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT! Right now I'd like to be able to roar into the head holes of the conservative douche canoes of SCOTUS.


But, no politics. This is my happy place. I am going to go watch a documentary and eat some snacks. Probably will also have a few popsicles too. ~Laters on the menjay



Photo courtesy of Snapchat filter

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